feliss

GO GREEN !!!

2011-07-02T13:31:00.007+08:00

phew..
after much of everyone's effort,
we got three big trophies and overall no 2.
that sounds so so great..
but mou mou also got do his part
ask us to stay low..

most of all I have a chance to get closer to many green team committees
can improve relationship
i surprise some i've seen a few times know my name so fast..
when we spoke only a few times
but i always try to remember people's names
gives good first impression when people don't know your name
but you somehow know theirs
lol

mou mou wearing the fairy wings and wand
so funny
but wen hui wear that really really cute
no need to worry that will ruin her image
realised its a small small world again
欣沂 is my primary classmate's sister

hope there is a next activity like that
GO GREEN!!!

wishing well

2011-05-04T19:40:00.020+08:00

i waited and waited until six
when i saw a perodua passed by
you were inside
and i was still waiting
so sad.....

minutes later, my dad came
he drove up the Jalan Ipoh mainroad
and i saw a similiar perodua two cars up ahead
out of fun
i bet and laughed to myself
that got to be you
i knew your hair that well
how could i missed this?

soon it was the mother trucker signboard my bro and i used to laughed
we reahed the traffic light before we are going to turn right
surprisingly the perodua car was already next to ours
wishing like hell
i wanted it to be you

and when i looked up
it was really you
i tried to show some signs that i was next to you
but you were busy handling your phone

before i could catch more than a glimpse
my dad drove straight
and your car turned right

god!!!
in that second
how could i be that close yet that far apart?

the tale of a commoner

2011-04-22T19:48:00.014+08:00

heart beating
mind recollecting
remembering a story everyone used to love

Cinderella
--the commonner who surpassed her social status

if luck wasn't on her side
would there still be a Prince William & Kate Middleton fairytale wedding?
would she even had a chance to try on the glass shoe
if her so called fairy godmother was void?

the longer time passes
the further away you get
the higher away you climb
the more it was a simple distant past
where choices are to my regrets and luck seem to run out of fuel
what are the odds of a commoner getting in love with a highly publicised person in life?

fury of NOTHING

2011-04-20T18:06:00.006+08:00

what is NOTHING?
if NOTHING is that pleasant to your ear..
why not you save it to yourself
and see how you cope with it

after spending so many years
of putting my effort in getting to the right moment
i didn't get it
nevermind, it isn't the worst deal
not like it is unbearable to that extend either

but your simple NOTHING
is that a type of sickening joke as a way for you to console?
that i don't need to do any further
that my worries can be assured with you in place
finally,
your barriers are demolished
your roots of new powers are free to expand at their fullest lengths,
deep underground with immeasurable strength
what am i?
an old fungi that has come to lost its medicinal purposes for the past century?

why why why
you had to imply in a way that made me feel that i'm not even worth it to delegate a task to?

housing system (^^)*

2011-03-22T19:46:00.005+08:00

few days ago,
i went online to did a research on the junior colleges in Singapore
and one thing striked my interest
they have housing system
and my first impression was..
wow ..is it like harry potter movie where you perform well
and see which house win in the end?
sounds damn fun

and unbelievably,
my eyes and ears almost popped out
when today the school announced that we're going to have housing system this year..
that sounds appealing enough...
and when they say the colours
my heart was already flying...
when the principal say the icon for it is a person..
that turn me off right away...
what type of naming... naming over someone...
that sucks..

in Singapore,
they use animals and colours to represent their house..
not just any zoo animals
super cool animals...
funny i'm like praising everything about Singapore schools..

by the way, they have like these:
eg: phoenix for red house, dragon for green house,
stallion for purple house, she wolf for blue house,
lion for yellow house...
so cool..
and they have badges
and a Latin motto to go with it to
and what?
we're going to have a Chinese motto?
that sounds so so uncool..
naming based on chinese influenced people again?
that is so so so uncool

anyway, i can't wait to find which house i'm in
already ccrossing my fingers over my wishlist of house-mates..
HOUSING SYSTEM here i come!!!

my poor dog

2011-02-09T21:07:00.005+08:00

poor poor teddy..
recovering is a bad choice of word
when you see a supposingly healthy dog
couldn't even managed to stand up properly
until he doesn't have an appetite
and don't bother trying to sit down
all that happens is
every now and then
he goes out of balanced
and smash to the floor

i can't believe some

STUPID GUY HAD THE NERVE TO POISON MY DOG!!!

*&@^!#

my version of "the day before CNY hols"

2011-01-30T23:20:00.006+08:00

sometimes the things you're not supposed to hear
you can hear every bit of it
really..i heard 贵扬 said my name
he told 涌群
"give it to Felicia"
i didn't knew what he was talking then

涌群 suddenly appeared in my front seat
and began babbling
"do you know,
i love you since we were primary..
i want to give you something.."
and the next thing i knew
he was showing me a packet of Care condoms
everyone look at him
诗喻skeptical..轩宁i dunno..诗婷stunned..
and he laughed
obviously, he was just joking..
but贵扬 got a packet of condoms on his birthday??
(should i say wow?)
i really wonder how the guy bought it..

the issue with boys
i get it
my bro is like that too
and exactly like that

rushing here and there
the 财政购买会服stuff is really getting on to my nerves
but with 璟琇accompanying me
everything feels tolerable
thanks so much
you are really fitted for the position

鲍鱼and 庆丰came back
i missed them
and 鲍鱼's hair was superb
black with brown highlight.
i liked it

theyare included in the "people i love in life" list
the longing to be with them
to see them
to look at them
is intoxicating and driving me crazy

and vydia suddenly appeared
wow she too. i love her
she got the art teacher post
now teaching form 1
and her formal attire makes her look older than 鲍鱼and庆丰
so weird..when she is supposed to be younger
so vydia became 姚老师
such a name

tuition was same
with 凯翔making the jokes all around again

and then was back home
into my lovely bed

surprising friend

2011-01-29T01:02:00.008+08:00

i was so dissapointed
so few turned up when i asked them for help
they really let me down until i had no mood to listen to lessons
maybe i need someone to give me some psychological help back then
but i didn't find angeline, but you

giving others a piece of your mind is inevitable you said
afraid of hurting others may never get anywhere
some people need exactly this to awaken themself
it was really helpful
although i don't think i'm brave enough to do it

as for the level of my purity...
knowledge doesn't equal to being 淫
i read books, i heard a lot from my sibling
rough language isn't my speciality,
but i doubt that everyone don't know them
giving me four blanks and asking me to guess a word
anyone who says that the four-lettered-word
never never came up to their mind is nonsense
guessing --- (1 possibility),
---- (1 possibility),
------- (3 possibility)
is just plain common sense
maybe 诗婷is the real pure naive one

and i like the talk of Barney
"i hate you, i hate you..
we are not a family..
with a few great guns..
and a large cannonball..
no more ****ing dinosaur"
maybe the new song you made makes more sense

and really, telling quei yang happy birthday and hairy bastard...
that really rhymes

i can't believe i told you so much today
until by the end of the day i had an aching sore throat
i love talking to you

small small world..

2011-01-20T09:13:00.014+08:00

during 迎新会
there's a game to remember as many names as you can
and both groups pk
but both groups remember same amount of names
(not to mention cheating n deception on the behalf of mao n 俊铭）

seriously, being a judge in that game was painstaking
so they pulled me in and said whoever who can pinpoint my name
will be the ultimate winner
and there comes an unknown form 1 girl
who babble everything about my home, my mum , i have a brother...
but doesn't know my name
after all she comes to my mum's home for tuition
scared the hell out of me

next after i come back,
with aching longing,
i suddenly got an urge to go n look through pictures in facebook
then i was like
轩宁knew mao
and then sure add up to know zai yun, daiyu ming...
and in society he knew 伟乐...

the revelation was already making me crazy
when i got through雪晶 facebook
and found out that she knew 旗惠all along
wow, i can't believe my life circle is that small
until everyone knows everyone somehow
i guess they must have had the same hostel room
or maybe they are still having now

with a world that small
i wouldn't be surprised what's next really..

results

2010-11-06T20:36:00.005+08:00

next year cannot go zhong again...
i really don't know what else to say....

if i didn't drop then,
i may have a chance to get in.

i saw ian's exam marks...
what the...
90 for 总平均
he's really really good...
and a genius..

i just hope that i can be in xiao by the way...
but it all depends on zhong has how many people..
kai xiang is the so called 关键人
that makes me hovering between ren and xiao...

who knew someone offered me a chance to know my results earlier
and i happily obliged to it...
know i need to wait till the day they hand out the report card...
><..

memories

2010-09-23T19:53:00.012+08:00

just went for piano..
didn't realise my teacher had the new walls repainted with an apple greenish white
and they were drawing murals

the cardboard on the floor,
the plastic disposable Tupperware,
newspapers,
brushes,
and unmistakably pelaka...
of all
pelaka...
with a wide range of colours...

surprisingly after piano, i was asked to help to paint a little
holding the similar brush in my hand,
wearing the same clothes which i wore during that time,
holding the same colour of pelaka which i used most then,
i started to draw like i did one and a half years ago...

shadow art exhibition...
how i miss every moment of it

the morning where i gotten my hand on polystyrene
and cursed for my unability to shape it
the time when i framed the drawings
and wrote the names down
the time when i struggled to use the staple gun
and end up with a red hand
the time when my name was written in pelaka on the board
underneath the layers of what remains
the night we ordered McD for supper
and offered a fry to the black cat
the dusk when everyone played poker cards
and talk away in cups of coffee
the night when we slept at 6 am
and woke up at 12 the next day
the night when i had a headache
and went to sleep at 11 when i slept around 2 the few days before
the after dinner when we did a backstreet boys scene video
and which still i kept carefully in my folders
the opening ceremony
which we wore the shadow tee proudly

as i hold the Tupperware of black pelaka
with the familiar smell of it whizzing into my nostrils every now and then
i couldn't help but wonder
how nostalgic... ><..

2nd sept

2010-09-02T23:16:00.005+08:00

today was unbelievable
at first and much earlier i thought
what the hell ?
i need to leave my classes
to waste time
and just to do some backup emcee stuff for the English singing competition?
no way...

but i went too with much coaxing
and the conclusion was
it was 100% worth it
get to work with two great guys
Amelia and Ian
both from 5sZhong

Ian, oh my god...
i can't believe it
all i ever ever did was see him from afar
but to work with him is like wow and wow
the fluency of his English is so undeniable by the way
his ability to switch as fast as the situation changes..
he did it more than five times
when everything grew far from the plan they intended
that they were left without any proper script
superb man
after all another genius ,what to do?
even 刘明华always mention him
ha i remembered
he said his IELTS get over 200 marks...

Amelia..
she was great
although you were nervous for the 2+2 group organ performance
you were still way way good
she started talking to me first when Ian pratically act like i wasn't there
(sulking..)
she welcomed me like i was just a part of their group
but i saw her before
even if i didn't knew her name then
i just knew she was from the chinese debating team
and she was form 5
but at last i can get to know her better (grinning with pleasure...)

but it was a damn short time
but i wish i can work with them next time agian
to share peals of laughter, jokes (mostly Ian said),and have fun..
its the best feeling of all
when you just get to know someone and feel a strong pull towards them
cause some are just that 'attractive'
(giggles)

what should i do?

2010-09-01T21:21:00.007+08:00

time flies
but
how could i ever forget you
your posture your look your smiles
your toussled hair
even the way you walk through the crowd
your back the most outstanding of all

it was never easy
to not make it obvious for all

you always cross my mind
but i wonder if i ever crossed you mind?
if the glance was all but just a glance....

should i keep it quiet like Ms Syvon said?
with my own feeling succumbed within
should i try to acquire it like some do?
should i just watch through the veil of next door
with bubbling anticipation
and never get an inch closer to you?

after all i couldn't resist to seize the chance to tell you..
if only i didn't fear to scare you off
until after that i wouldn't even have a chance to talk to you
irony,
that's just like what i did
i ran with just the slightest sign..
when someone did the same
would you do the same?
i have no idea...

all i could do is ask myself
will it be any better if i told you everything?

sunday..27/1/10

2010-06-28T19:28:00.007+08:00

it was a typical sunday morning
i wanted to go for tuition
the trouble was
road block here
road block there
in the end it was too late
i decided to just give up and go back home

afternoon
my toe nail came out again
this time at a more sloppy angle
the cause was
i kicked myself
i kicked myself !!
and it will take another week to heal

evening
i wanted to cross the road
and almost got knocked down by an oncoming car
i didn't see properly
what an excuse that was

bad things come in three
many said
so was it a terrible sunday?

it wasn't
surprisingly
i saw boon at dinner
pratically bumped into him
he look even tall in casual clothes geh....
by the way
weird of course
since setapak is quite far from segambut
come all the way here to eat?
hehehe........

the point is i got what i wanted again
just by thinking
maybe i should make a list of what i wished and what i got
it would be an astonishing number...

can't wait to do that!! >< ..

doubtfulness

2010-06-22T20:04:00.005+08:00

heck...
i never ever felt that vulnerable before

the best thing i could do
the best thing i enjoyed
the best thing i ever did

and again and again i failed
i really didn't understand why i never get a prize for my watercolour
i'm not that big-headed
not that i wanted to surely get no 1
hell i didn't get any
consolation or whatever

why?why? why?

all this years
i tried and tried
comics i tried to learn from lumix and ak
watercolour i tried to learn from uncle lala
i look at what they did
i copied
i copied and copied and copied
i spent time admiring their work and drew a duplicate went i first got home
i bought a tablet and fumbled throught the programs
and here i am still standing at the starting point
i took the effort to get hold of everything the best way i could
and after all
what was my effort?
rubbish???

maybe i had my turns
i got so many last time
maybe its a way of letting others...................
maybe............

how do i be confident in myself
when eveytime i grew confident
it was the time to be turned down
to be dissapointed
doubtfulness altogether
of incapability or whatever...........

frère

2010-05-27T22:42:00.005+08:00

to have someone always surpassing you...
life is never a bed of roses

he always expressed his regret going to singapore
hell ya, who cares
the maths there was easy like abc was his always rebuke
and in the end
i really kinda find myself wishing to step into his shoes
who cares if the english is tougher.
at least next time i wouldn't need to worry about it at all

most of all,
i was the one closing out on every chance taking me to singapore
i didn't think i could
until he got it
i really regretted
maybe i should at least tried

sorry, no offense
but those who say they don't get a spark of jealousy
are liars

i'm worried
what if by the time he comes back
his english is better than mine?
'easy like abc'?
since when he got hold of this idiom?

what if by the time he comes back
his maths is still better than mine?
despite our standard here higher

what if he become so street- smart that he can go anywhere he wants to go with his friends
and i'm still stuck at home with my mum thinking i'm still incapable of going out?
(this is my mum's reason for letting him out but not me, because he's so used to it there)

i had enough all these years
people staring at him in the limelight
with everything so perfect
i thought that distance was a solution

when he comes back people will go goo goo and gaah gaah over him
and its like replaying the film
the clock make its turn again

time passes
but in the end
everything never changes

test week

2010-05-27T21:53:00.006+08:00

tests are finally over..
come to think of it
it was a too exhausting test week..
what with so many things going on

firstly the tests were simply not an easy task..
maybe for others no
but a thousand nods for me
my maths totally a fiasco this time
here a little there a little red...
all marks went flying straight out of the window and into the dustbin.
ha... what an exact way to put it.
that goes the same for all other subjects too
i'm gonna get drowned sooner or later into the vortex of marks...

secondly, bye bye Austin...
you were that healthy beforehand
and all signs of distemper was finally fading
when you tried to GIVE IN!!
i wouldn't mind if it was any other day of the year,
but during my tests week
that was just too much to take a day.
I'm still holding a slight grudge against mum now
she didn't tell me
she made the final decision
and by the next day
you were found where?
breathless and lying beneath the stony floor of the SPCA grave
didn't even managed to get a last look at you
what a nice way for me to have tests....(#@&...)

i admit willing thoughts can bring expectations...
even it wasn't my mind controlling it
yeah, it still seems such a coincidence
the second month of school,
way before the mid-year i was wishing to switch classes with 3 zhong
for what?
just to see xue jing
what an odd thought.
and i got it, half of it
the trouble was i could try even the slightest to manipulate things that can be changed..
but what can't be changed is
we were also odd numbers
i couldn't change that since the starting of this year
and what i thought couldn't wield it into reality
we just weren't meant to be in the same class
the power of the mind
The Secret??
anyone believes me??
is it just a crap?

after all this is a late post
but i wouldn't want these to be forgotten someday or later
even it consists of 80% unpleasantness
by the way i don't write diaries

so... it's still a piece of posting worth sharing

mushroom soup with garnishes

2010-04-03T22:29:00.005+08:00

scooping into mouthfuls of my soup
you walked in
and i couldn't help looking at you

amazed i was with your height and your build
astonished i was with your wet black hair
with the gel-like-dishevelled look
your glittery greyish green eyes
situated under you mediumly thicked eyebrows
gleamed under the warm light

among a few of your friends or your brothers (no idea anyway)
i couldn't help but notice you
you look different
not in a bad sense
but in a good one

with your "red bull" spelled black sleeveless shirt
checkered shorts
and black slippers
you wore casually
but with an unknown grace

you sat behind me
and look at the menu
i half-turned my face
trying to hear and hear
i tried to caught hold of something
as i drank my creamy mushroom soup

suddenly you appeared before me
and blurped out a sentence
with a perfect intonation and velvety slang
all i heard was the last few words
"......................grab this chair?"
i assumed you wanted the extra chair opposite me
all i could was gasped at your words
and nodded my head with an "erm..okaaay..."
which i wasn't sure you even heard

at last before footing the bill
i took a last look at you
i took a last glance at you
before i left...

i really hope we will meet again someday......

01042010 - a surprise?

2010-04-01T19:07:00.003+08:00

i woke up from slumber
and it was another long day...

with me tired after all...

didn't go to Vydia's classroom at 7
although i terribly miss her after the standardised test
seems like i couldn't let go of her...
another qingfeng/zi qun/xiu mei ?
did i somehow get a " stick-to-form 6 students-sickness" ?

mao mao wanted us to finish four graphs in a day
with correct numbers and perfect drawings
there goes my first recess
insane (not saying him...but the job is.. X<)
(i have no desire of being the next person to ' 唤醒他的恶魔' ...)

maths period

my higher algebra got the highest bizzare...
since when my maths get the highest?
never..
everyone ask and ask and i'm tired of answering....
I WAS JUST LUCKY!!!
i really wanted to scream...
my modern maths is a good example....
so lousy....what else is there to say?

Boon with the bunny up his sleeve
funny...
and i realise it was his birthday
not that i forgot...
not that i would forget either...
it just didn't registered in my mind
and i didn't even manage to say it to him today...

attended a meeting after school
which i have no idea why i should be there
i don't hold high posts in my society...
so why did Lemon called me?
to the long winded talk that make me skipped my piano classes?
somehow, i guess there must be a good reason behind it.
thanks for all, Lemon.

ew...
don't mean to mention this
but i decided after all
i guess i was a moron
after that many years of experience
i still fell into Eugene's trap...
there's something on my head?
there never was...
and i act stupidly shoving my fingers down my hair

what an april fool....

your first smile

2010-02-19T19:16:00.001+08:00

early spring,
blinded by a sense of embarrassment and shyness,
everything seem misty and unconvincing.
i didn't realise your presence.
neither did i knew your name.

seasons past,
i did know your name,
or heard it,
but somehow,
i chose not to approach.

that morning,
crowds gathered,
people enjoyed and laughed,
so did i.

beside me,
the sun shone behind your torso,
your eyes displayed a kind of joking tease,
as you brushed my hair with a smile on your face.
i moaned at you with a slightful grin.
and returned you the same little gift.

smiled and smiled,
we smiled at each other for quite a while.

9 seasons have gone........................

we were further apart,
however,
your smiles never passed,
everytime we crossed into each other's path,
you always did your part,
and smiled like the last.

i too reply in a way,
but i always thought it wasn't enough,
as it was only a meagre sign of the past,
a fragile proof that we were side by side that day,
something that will cease by the way.

no matter how hard i tried ,
to break into a run for a secluded corner,
to lose myself in the dark,
my dreams dissapoint me,
they failed me,
and let me down,
no matter how,

i couldn't ever forget
the simple first smile you shown me that day.....

i can't help missing you...

maya's farewell

2010-02-01T19:25:00.001+08:00

--maya--
to the dog, er... no ..soul who had three separate lifes
dog pound life
low family life and
poh family life

first,
i hope you have a nice new home

second,
i hope you will be happy like always

third,
i will always miss you

and so you should too...^^

aaa....
i think i'm gonna miss you very very much...
sob...><

-- ups and downs, turning of events, no matter where your heart is, there is where i shall be --

Nostalgic flavours

2010-01-29T20:58:00.001+08:00

biscuit sized and shaped ice creams
xX RESTRICTED ACCESS ONLY Xx
-- NOT FOR SALE --

dad- peppermint
mum- vanilla
deon- chocolate with extravagant chocolate chips
(when u like it tht much...)

joy- honey (joy obviously)
elaine- raspberries (elegance in everythng)
sok- apple (simple yet only)
mou- rambutan (mou, a mou..)
zi xin- mangosteen (^^)
xy- durian (this is undeniable)
yunzi- lime (quirk and little)
yu yu- maple syrup (deep flavouring...just like ur thoughts)
zhai yun- caramel (happy go lucky)
hui min- pineapple (mischevious and fun)

qing feng- grapes
zi qun- coffee (><)
baoyu- abalone. is there any abalone ice cream?? >3<>
lumix- kiwi
vydia- melon
angel- sweet peach
zi hang- lemonade (lol)
wei lun- banana
jia jian - orange cream
sue er- berry with pecan

me??

no idea...
really....

frosty midnight

2010-01-15T20:57:00.001+08:00

under the moon,

gracefully, it appeared out of the condensed clouds,

unheavily, it glided and entered through the atmosphere.

just alike others

swiftly, it fell like autumn's golden crisped leaves.

silently, it slided down the blocks of midnight buildings.

it was the only fragments of nature that glittered in the starless sky

crystalline, pure and complete

it was the snow i wished for last summer......

quadrivium -the crossroads(in Latin)

2009-12-27T21:13:00.001+08:00

shifting my toe,
standing on the vast platform.
mixed feelings succumbed me
i stared at the quadrivium,
which were knownfully called as the crossroads in our language.

somehow i realised after all,
choosing whichever path that lay ahead was simple
chosen to move whichever path that lay ahead was harder
there was no option,
neither did choice.

after twelve years.
we faced enough,
but not that much to part.
however,
deep in my heart,
we were always on the end of the quadrivium,
never apart.

leaving?

2009-11-09T19:19:00.002+08:00

a part of life...
an experience that everyone must have...
to leave ,to let go...

not that i don't remember,
the BISDS taught us to let go of attachments...
it is the moderate way to the eightfold path..
but, come on i'm still human...
nowhere near an arahant...(i guess many don't know what i'm babbling about.)

this is another second year of regrets and upsets...
everyone seemed to be leaving again...there goes one...
and slowly another tails behind...

when will it end?
when it's painstaking like a reincarnation circle of life?

last year two lala's n yuyu
baoyu next which ended a week ago
and anytime now ang n yi ting
with deon...

deja vu
a word that best decribes it

how i wish there wasn't an invention of this word
of course slowly, i will learn to accept the fact
but how long will it take then?
years?

The expected rain

2008-12-19T22:45:00.002+08:00

The tempest roared…

the storm came…

Thunderous light clashes away…

After all the hassle,It finally rained heavily...

All was over…The rain did its job…

Sweeping away speckled dust in the sky...

Ruthlessly tumbling down high and huge trees which manage to cling on for that long…

Ignoring the cries of man and the wailing of the animals,

Among all the ruins,

Among all the destroyed,

All that left behind was a few perennial saplings,

Waiting for the coming season - the new spring

Pushing its way for survival in the glaring and blazing light

The next generation

Who in time to come need to overcome ordeals and hardships

In hope for the future,

Creating the next green land

The essence of life in the next decade.